What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Yes sir it is.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Why would a spouse cheat if the marriage is good?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

When was the first time you suck on a penis?

Sure no problem officer.

After a few moments he returns.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

What is your opinion about homosexuality? Do you think that it is by nature or a choice?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

{RING} {RING}

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Is marijuana bad for you?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

HELLO

What's the gayest thing you have experienced on an only boys sleepover?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.